Why I Hate The Pittsburgh Steelers

If you know me even a little and we have talked even a moment about sports, then I think it is a safe bet that you have heard me reference how much I hate the Pittsburgh Steelers.  But for those of you that have not had the pleasure of uttering Pittsburgh in my presence...this post should hopefully enlighten you to some of the reasons I loathe and despise everything that has to do with black and gold.

(Note: Each Pittsburgh Steelers reference will contain a link to something I think is better than the Pittsburgh Steelers - because that is how much I hate them.  Enjoy.)

I loved book fairs in elementary school.  I always bought posters at the book fair - because I hated reading - and I remember the year that I bought a Marshall Faulk poster.  It was 1994 - his rookie year.  I had until that point been a Redskins fan - by default I would say - but I decided with the purchase of this poster that I would be a Colts fan. 

Steps for Becoming a Fan of a Team:

1. Have a reason.  (check: Marshall Faulk)

2. Figure out who else is on the team.  Start with the quarterback if he wasn't the initial reason.

Enter Jim Harbaugh. 

1994 was nothing to brag about for Harbaugh.  He only started 9 of the 16 games, and threw 9 touchdowns and 6 interceptions in that time.

And then the 1995 season came along. 

If you look at the Colts record that year (9-7), it would be a fair assumption that if they did in fact make the playoffs they were a Wild Card team and probably had no chance at even winning the first game.

In actuality, they were the 5th seed.  The 4th, 5th AND 6th seeds were 9-7 that year. 

In addition the Colts' losses were, with the exception of one, all by six points or less.  They were riding the legs of Marshall Faulk and the determination and fourth quarter performances of the eventual Comeback Player of the Year winner Jim Harbaugh.  It was the most exciting season of football I have ever watched.

They had to win the last game of the season to make the playoffs.  They did - by three.  Then, they had to face a team they had already lost to that season.  And proceeded to win by 15.  Being the fifth seed meant they would next have to face the team with the best record in football that year - the Kansas City Chiefs.

So you know this was a long time ago.

The Colts won that game on a late field goal and so were headed to the AFC Championship Game to face none other than the Pittsburgh Steelers.

It was the fourth quarter.  The Colts were down 20-16, and they were driving down the field to win the game.  It came down to the last play of the game - a Hail Mary into the endzone.  Harbaugh threw the ball in the air - like he had done so many times before that season - and I saw Aaron Bailey catch it.

The Worst Moment in My Sports Life

And then I saw him drop it.

And then I couldn't see much more through the tears in my eyes.  I sobbed because we had lost a game I knew we should have won.  I was angry because it was CLEARLY pass interference and he had STILL almost made the catch, but couldn't hold on.  I cried because they didn't call it, and I cried because I was a 9 year old kid who had loved a team and it's quarterback more than I had loved almost everything else up until that point in my life.

So my hatred of Pittsburgh began.  The Colts lost to the Steelers by 28 points in the playoffs the next year, and eventually drafted some punk out of Tennessee to replace Harbaugh.  Guy by the name of Peyton Manning.

And so my love for the Colts dwindled as the true reason I had loved them left, and my hatred for the Steelers was born as they stole our season on a bad call and proceeded to blindfold Neil McDonnell for the Super Bowl - wasting that stolen opportunity.  The Colts would have won it all - there is no doubt in my mind.  Harbaugh finished second in the MVP voting that year, and I have never enjoyed watching someone play the game of football as much as I enjoyed him.

Fast forward to Penn State.  I had gone on to follow the Eagles for a bit - because I enjoyed watching Donovan McNabb for some clearly unknown reason - and Penn State seemed to be a wonderful place to continue that.  The Eagles had no rivalry with the Steelers  so I didn't see any problem coexisting with those fans and cheering for my team.  Until I became friends with some Steelers fans.  And lived with one.  

Because I realized how incredibly obnoxious those stupid towels are.  And how incredibly frustrating it is to hear someone reference 4 Super Bowl wins that happened AT LEAST 20 YEARS before they were born.  I don't care what happened in the 1970's.  It has no bearing on your team now.  And our teams don't have a rivalry - so please stop asking me the ridiculous question, "Wait, how many Super Bowl wins does YOUR team have?"

BECAUSE IT DOESN'T MATTER!  When I make the comment that my team will be good this year, the response that I am looking for is, "Yeah?  We probably will be good too.  Maybe we will play in the Super Bowl."  Then you can ask me the question about Super Bowl wins.  Because if you beat us in that game, it matters.  Otherwise it has NO BEARING ON ANYTHING because there is no bad blood between our teams in any other location but the middle of an otherwise deserted area of Pennsylvania - State College.

So why do I hate Pittsburgh?  Because for four years I was convinced that I SHOULD hate Pittsburgh.  Well now I do - and I don't feel bad about it.  Nothing would please me more than to watch that stadium burn to the ground.  I would rather PAY to watch a WNBA game than BE PAID to watch the Steelers play.  I would rather stick my hand in a working piston and listen to each one of my fingers break than wrap my hand around one of those insidious towels.  Because this hatred has grown to such an extreme, I have found only three reasons why the city of Pittsburgh is worth keeping.  And trust me, one bad experience would certainly shift my feelings in the wrong direction.  They are as follows:

1.  Primanti Brothers

2.  PNC Park

3.  Brett Kiesel's beard

The third of those reasons is clearly conditional, as I believe he is currently regrowing said beard.  So there are really only two reasons that make me have even a speck of respect for anything the city of Pittsburgh does.  My brother in law Cameron said it best:  The state of Pennsylvania should do what Virginia did and cut off the crappy part of it - leaving Pennsylvania and West Pennsylvania.

I could not agree more.  I hate Pittsburgh, and I will until they bury me six feet under the ground.  What else am I doin' right now?

The World Series, Game 1

So a couple of things are going to happen right now.  I am going to reveal another one of my favorite things, and I am going to do so by addressing a question that caused a LOT of controversy during my recent family vacation.

First of all, I love the Phillies.  If baseball was the only sport that happened during the year and all of the other sports fell off the map I would feel no remorse.  That's how much I love the Phillies - enough that it overrides the need for any other sports to exist.  My classroom is not decorated with student work - it's decorated with Phillies photos and memorabilia.  That's how much I love the Phillies - enough to warrant displaying it in my classroom INSTEAD OF anything related to the subject I teach.

So if you understand how much I love the Phillies, then you now have an idea of how much my brother loves the Braves.

Let's just say that the love we have for our respective teams has polarized my family.  Except it's really more like a Phillie massacre.  Because everyone but my wife and I loves the Braves.  So whenever we get together the topic of whose team is better comes up.

This particular vacation was no different.  It came up, but I feel like both parties handled it very well.  Until my brother and I were talking on the beach with our cousin Sumter.  I don't remember how the question came up, but we were talking about how the Braves have good pitching this year.  So someone asked - probably me - who the Braves should start in game one of the World Series.

So obviously this was hypothetical and highly imaginary.  Because there is no way they make it there this year.

But if the situation were to come to fruition, both my brother AND Sumter said they would start Derek Lowe.  No question.  Because of his experience in the playoffs.  So I immediately asked - because it is a logical question - why they wouldn't start Tim Hudson.  Or Jair Jurrjens.  Or ANYONE BETTER than Derek Lowe.

Their response - experience matters more in the playoffs.  Cut and dry.

Their argument is that in a situation where you must win a game you would start someone who has more experience in the playoffs over someone who has more talent.  So I then asked them what I thought was a great example of a counter to his argument.

You are the Giants and you have a choice between Barry Zito and Tim Lincecum.  Barry Zito is 4-3 in the playoffs with a 3.25 era.  His starts came in the same time frame as Derek Lowe's starts, so it is a fair comparison.  Tim Lincecum is 15 years old - he just started shaving - so he has no playoff experience.  Do you start Barry Zito because of his experience?

Their answer was no - as was the Giants answer last year when Tim Lincecum was amazing in the World Series.  I felt like this was a pretty solid counter argument, and I explained that I feel like you should start your best pitcher in the toughest situations - therefore I would start Hudson over Lowe and Lincecum over Zito.

To me, experience is certainly important, but when you compare Lowe's numbers to Hudson's numbers in the playoffs, I don't feel like Lowe's numbers "wow" me enough to start him over someone who has very similar numbers yet has an ERA that is 0.40 lower over his career and a win percentage that is ten points higher.  Neither has a winning record in the playoffs.  So when I look at the fact that Hudson has a winning record this season and an ERA that is almost 1.00 below Derek Lowe, I go with the person who is performing.  And that's Hudson. 

While I thought I presented a pretty good counter argument and explanation for my choice, they both still refused to acknowledge my reasoning as legitimate.  This led to a few other conversations about the topic and just a general disagreement about everything baseball for the rest of the trip.  But as we were disagreeing, I thought about who we (the Phillies) should start in Game 1 of the World Series. 

If I take the stance of experience in the playoffs the pitcher that should start is Cole Hamels.  He has more playoff experience than both Cliff Lee and Roy Halladay AND has won a World Series. 

If I take the stance of overall experience including post season, we should pitch Cliff Lee who is 7-2 in the playoffs, has pitched in the last two World Series and has much more experience pitching during the regular season than Cole Hamels.

But as I said, I put my best pitcher on the mound.  So without a doubt I start Roy Halladay - arguably the best pitcher in baseball right now.  His first time in the playoffs was last year.  He threw a no-hitter in his first game.  

A no-hitter.

Like, he only walked one person on a questionable call (in my opinion) and faced 28 batters in his first game EVER in the playoffs.

Roy Halladay starts because Roy Halladay is our best pitcher.  Call me crazy, but the Phillies (and every other team in professional sports) pay these players too much money to worry about who is going to need a tissue in tough situations.  Pitch according to your ability when I need you to or have a seat.

Now I am going to go enjoy the rest of our season with Hunter Pence on our team.  And when we get to the World Series I am going to giggle like a school girl when Halladay starts Game 1 and Game 2 because he is that good.  If you need to find me, that's what I will be doin' right now.

The Dominican

First of all, I feel like that would be - and has probably already been used as - a great movie title.  Secondly, I must apologize to my readers for not updating the blog sooner about one of the best experiences I have ever had.  I went down to the Dominican Republic with our church to do some missions work in the town of Hato Mayor.  Our goal was to accomplish two things: build a church in one of the communities that Shalom (my church's partner church) has been working to help and witness to the many children running around the community while we were building.

My hope with this post is to just share a little bit of what was amazing about my trip through pictures of some of the people and stories about what I experienced.  The best way I can think to do that is by talking about three things:  the people I worked with, the things that I witnessed and the lessons I learned.

The People I Worked With

I was on the trip with 19 other people.  There were people who ranged in age from 14 to 44.  At first I thought that might create some awkward cliques as the trip went on, but I could not have been more wrong.  It became clear that each one of the people on the trip had gone to the Dominican with the purpose of growing closer to God, and as He often does I feel like God displayed His glory through the relationships we formed with each other during the week.  I got the opportunity to talk with some of the high school boys about struggles they have had living a Christian life in such a secular school environment.  I had the opportunity to form friendships with people my own age, and to learn from those who have had children and have lived more life than I have.  It was amazing.

The people I spent the week with.

We also met and worked with some of the most dedicated people I have ever known.  We had two "translators", Lionel and Mario.  The reason I put translators in quotes is because when I think translator I think someone who speaks both their native language and the translated language fluently.  Let's just say communicating didn't go as smoothly this week as I would have hoped.  But aside from that, these two men were such amazing brothers in Christ.  When we met them initially they both seemed shy, but as the week went on I saw them worship and praise God so passionately both during church services and through the work they helped us do that my view of who they were was totally changed.  It filled me with such joy to know that we were spending time with brothers of the faith who worship the same God that we do even if they don't really speak the same language that we do.

Lionel on the left, Mario on the right.

We also met one of the most intimidating men I have ever seen.  Not intimidating in the usual sense, but moreso intimidating based on things he did throughout the week.  Like hammer a 3 inch nail into the structure with one swing.  His name was Woscar, and in case you are wondering that translates into English as: Woscar.  He was the right-hand man of Pastor Carlos, and pretty much didn't talk to anyone.  But if he did talk to you, you listened.  And immediately asked someone to translate in case he asked you to do something.  

Woscar guarding the bus.

We also had the opportunity to work with a couple of pastors from the churches associated with Shalom.  Pastor Cruz and Pastor Rudolfo would probably have been considered our project managers when it came to the church.  Rudolfo spoke through the work that he did, and Cruz spoke through a loud and joking demeanor.  Rudolfo would point and often speak in one word commands whereas Cruz would joke with the people around him, laugh at us and then tell us what to do.  Neither of them spoke English - but neither of them really had to.  Their work and personalities spoke for themselves.

Carlos on the left, Cruz in the middle and Rudolfo on the right.

Last but not least, pictured on the left, was the head pastor of Shalom, Pastor Carlos.  I cannot say enough about the work he is doing down in the Dominican.  He has such an outstanding relationship with the community - given what he does for a living - and has such a heart for the people of Hato Mayor and the communities surrounding it.  He took us to see so many different areas that Shalom has been able to reach out to and explained why certain things were handled the way that they were.  He is a big man - he is tall and has a very strong presence.  He was driving us home one night on the bus and someone on the street hit the bus as it went by.  He immediately stopped it, got out, and walked up to the person to see what the problem was.  He didn't lose his temper, but I am sure if he had the person would have soiled themselves.  

The Things that I Witnessed

When I wasn't helping to build the church, I spent my time with the kids who were all around us.  I got to give some of them piggyback rides.  I got to twirl some of them around and around and then just let go.  I got to play baseball in the Dominican.  

In a field.

With cows right beside me.

And their feces right beside that.

Playing baseball with people that don't speak English.  Making a catch in the outfield.  Beside a cow.  Whaaaat?

We also played a little soccer, as you can see.  Soccer and baseball - two sports the rest of the world plays.  AWESOME!

I got to see people worshipping the same God that I do in a completely different language and in a very different way than I normally would.  We went to church on Sunday and heard Pastor Carlos preach, and on Tuesday I went to a church in Guayabal.  I also got to share my testimony on Tuesday.

Me with my ridiculous beard sharing my testimony.

The church we went to on Sunday.

Something else I witnessed: some of the best fried chicken I have ever had.  From a place that also sold Chinese food.  In the Dominican Republic.  You serious Clark?

Chinese in the Dominican.

I saw kids chasing our bus.  Like in a movie.  Because they genuinely enjoyed us.  So cool.

Seriously the coolest thing ever.

The Lessons I Learned

1. Kids are kids everywhere.  Just look at some of these pictures.  I loved getting to know some of them even in the short time we spent together.  These kids were so excited to see us everyday.  It made me so much MORE excited to be having a daughter.  It's gonna be awesome.

2. My beard was so ridiculous that I could fit 78 toothpicks into it without any of them falling out.  And look tribal while doing it.  Weird.

78 toothpicks. Say whaaat?

3. When you get people together and they get on a plane to the Dominican Republic with the intention of doing God's work, His work is done quickly and beautifully.  Look at this church!!  

4. People all over the world worship the same God that we do.  It was so amazing to SEE that - to spend time with those people and worship Him at the same time.  What a glorious God! 

I know I have been long winded and have included a ridiculous amount of pictures, but this trip was amazing and I feel like you need to see what I saw in order to appreciate what I say all the more.  There is still work to be done though, so you should go too.  I would go with you!  Seriously, what else are you doin' right now?

Movies, The Final Installment: Amazing Cinema

As these posts come to a close, I find myself having less to say about the movies I am recommending to the general public.  It would seem logical that this post would be the most involved as it will reference some of the most amazing cinema I have ever witnessed, but I am at a loss for words.  I feel like these movies speak for themselves.

So technically they should have already told you about themselves? 

Anyway, I have cited in other posts that I don't expose myself to that which will make me feel the need to take a shower later.  If taken too far, that argument could be used to justify forgoing movies like Finding Nemo or The Lion King because of the topics those movies touch on.  People have different levels of tolerance for movies and what they will and won't expose themselves to.  I feel with some cinema there comes a point when there is not enough positive take away to overcome the negativity being sprayed in my grill.  But I acknowledge that I am a conservative dude, so to each their own.

So as I reveal these amazing movies, I will split them into three lists:  movies that don't cross the line and are amazing, movies that are too much for me but are really freakin' good, and movies that I love but are probably not that good.

Amazing Movies That Don't Cross the Line:

1.  The Dark Knight - I saw this movie FOUR TIMES in theatres.  FOUR TIMES!!  I probably gave a solid $80 to $100 dollars to the benefit of this film via ticket and concession expenses.  Someone had to help pay Heath Ledger's child support...

2.  Invincible - I love Philadelphia, but I know that not everyone else does.  I can't for the life of me figure out why, but I promise after watching this movie it will be a struggle to continue hating on the best city in the state of PA.

3.  Inception - Two reasons to watch this movie:  Leonardo DiCaprio.  Joseph Gordon-Levitt.

4.  The Prestige - This is the third movie I have mentioned that is directed by Christopher Nolan.  Perhaps he is the reason they are so phenomenal.  Either way, bring your thinking caps and your David Bowie wigs to this one.

5.  The Bourne Ultimatum - The Bourne series is amazing, so watch the first two movies and then watch this one.  And marvel at the amazing things Matt Damon does time and time again.

Amazing Movies That Fly Over the Line Like a Bat Out of Hell:

1.  The Departed - I distinctly remember being so shocked by what I was witnessing that I crawled up the back of my seat in the theatre hollering in disbelief.

2.  V for Vendetta - Who knew someone could make wearing a mask so cool...

3.  Gladiator - Russell Crowe beats people up off set.  Probably why he was so successful in this role.

4.  Good Will Hunting - Matt Damon and Ben Affleck WROTE it. 

Amazing Movies That Probably Aren't Actually That Good:

1.  Blue Streak

2.  You Got Served

3.  Fool's Gold

4.  Angels in the Outfield

Yeah right...they are freakin' amazing.

Watch these movies!  What ELSE are you doin' right now?

Movies, Part 3: Based on a True Story

If someone started at the beginning of my blog and read all the way through, I feel like it would be evident at this point that I value truth very highly.  I'm not interested in pretending to be things that I am not.  I'm not interested in spending time with people whose focus is continually being something that they are not.  It's just not worth it.  From a worldly perspective (assuming there is nothing after this life) it is a complete waste of the time we have.  From a God-centered perspective, it is deceptive and completely goes against God's call for us to confess the truth that we have done wrong and need Him.  So either way, no thanks.

So if that is how I feel, then naturally I would love cinema that "honors" the truth about someone's life or a series of events.  Now it must be addressed that Hollywood, like almost all forms of entertainment, is just that - entertainment.  I honestly have to remind myself of that at times.  Hollywood loves to create false drama just to make a true story "better".  

Can we address how hilarious and also disturbing it is that Hollywood would take somebody's life and change things about it?  If what happens in your life is a perfectly orchestrated plan that has been put into place by our Creator, how presumptuous and prideful it is to change it!  

Then to top it off, we drink it in and sop up the leftovers with our dinner rolls.  

Need for a Savior: illustrated.  Save us from our desire to rewrite the works of someone who invented writing.

Yet and still, I do enjoy the entertainment provided by watching a movie that is "based on a true story".  So it might be short and sweet, but I will sign off with two lists.  The first will be a list of some of my favorite true movies.  I will list them in order of what I believe to be increasing truth - because yes, I do love the truth.  The second list will be movies I wish were true.  They will be listed in order of my desire for them to be true.  

Based on a True Story:

1.  A Beautiful Mind

2.  Catch Me if You Can

3.  Walk the Line

4.  The Blind Side

5.  The Social Network

6.  Stand and Deliver

7.  The Passion of the Christ (you are welcome)

Awesome if They Were Based on a True Story:

1.  The Lord of the Rings trilogy

2.  Alice in Wonderland

3.  The Pirates of the Caribbean movies

4.  Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs

5.  Harry Potter movies

I feel like I need to go paint my Dungeons and Dragons characters while I play Magic: The Gathering after composing this second list.  Just sayin'.

Enjoy these movies and the sickly attempts they make at portraying the truth.  Then think of the Truth. 

What else are you doin' right now?

Movies, Part 2: The Movies I Don't Tell Most People That I Like

Let's get really real right now.  I have some movies I absolutely love, and most of the time I just keep it to myself.  I don't know if I would call it shame, but I most certainly wouldn't have these listed on Facebook.

Probably because I don't have a Facebook on which to do that.  Join me in the rebellion, fam.

But perhaps the reason is the social pressure that I guess we all fall victim to at some point.  Even though I do my best not to give in to such whimsicality, I must admit that until I started typing this post only a select few would have known of my love for these movies.  

Now the whole world could know if they wanted to.  Provided they have access to a computer.  And the internet.  And searched the exact phrasing that led them to this obscurity of a blog.

Rambling aside, these five movies are but a select few of those that could be listed.  I honestly feel like these would be the most socially acceptable to claim enjoyment from.  So hear goes:

1.  Despicable Me - This movie is freakin' hilarious.  If anyone ever reads this blog and hasn't seen it, stop reading and go Redbox the jaundice out of that movie right now.  I have had debates with my wife about whether or not to name our little infant girl (SKELETOR!!!!) after the unicorn-adoring Agnes.  That is how unbelievably cute she is, and how much I love this movie. 

2.  Fantastic 4 - Whaaaaat?  This movie is one of the most entertaining movies I have ever seen and each time I watch it I cannot for the life of me figure out why.  I saw it twice in theatres.  TWICE!  There have only been two other movies that I have paid to see multiple times, and future posts will reveal what they are.  It must be the lack of thought that needs to be put into understanding the movie, or maybe its the sweet rock dude falling in love with the blind chick.  Who knows - who cares.  It's amazing.

3.  The Wizard of Oz - Here's where ish gets real.  I watched this movie so many times when I was a kid that I often find myself saying the lines without even thinking about it - AND MAKING THE VOICES!  I sing along with every song, and I can't stand the Wicked Witch of the West.  To clarify, if I had lived back then I would have avoided any opportunity to meet the actress who played her in person.  That's how much I hated her.  Enough to treat the actress as if she wasn't acting.  But the movie is amazing.

4.  Live Free or Die Hard - This one probably comes from watching it at my Penn State bachelor party.  I'm pretty positive that we had half of a leftover keg of beer and a bottle of Manischewitz.  Which means (because I had just turned 21) that I had a beer in one hand and the sacrament in the other.  Meanwhile, I watched Bruce Willis crash his car into a flying helicopter and mount a jet as it flew underneath a highway.  I'm not kidding.  That should be enough to warrant watching the movie twice a day for two weeks.

5.  The Holiday - Last but not least I would like to throw all of my masculinity out the window and say that this movie is one of my all time favorites.  There is nothing wrong with it.  It was cast perfectly.  I don't care what anyone says: Jack Black was the best person for that role.  I had to stifle tears when the little girl calls her family the three musketeers.  If you were a decent human being you would too.

Kidding...

But seriously.

So there it is.  My reputation laid out on the blog/table for all to see and witness.  Laugh if you must, but I do not regret loving any of these movies.  Go watch them and try to act like they aren't amazing - just try.  What else are you doin' right now?

Movies, Part 1: The Classics That Are Truly Worth Viewing

The more I write this blog, the stranger I realize I am.  Stranger in that I feel like not too many people share the interests I have.  Which is fine - but this post will probably not be any different, because in this first of four posts I am revealing that one of my favorite things to do is watch movies that came out between 1930 and 1960.  I feel like that span of 30 years or so was a time when most - but certainly not all - movies retained a certain modesty while remaining poignant and entertaining.

Let me make it clear - if it is not already - that I really think about what I engage in and view.  More than most people I know.  I feel like God has called us to live a life of holiness so that we might honor Him, and so when I think about what I am going to watch or invest time in I want to make sure that after I have done so I will not need to feel guilty or ask for God's forgiveness.  I know that sounds strict and as if I am taking it way to seriously.  But when I think about all God has done for me - the things I have done in past that left me dead in my sin and the way that He cares for me when He has no real need for me - I find it hard to watch movies that leave me feeling like I need to take a shower because of how filthy they are.

Which would be any movie like Black Swan or A Clockwork Orange.  Or anything directed by Quentin Tarantino.  

I understand why people find them entertaining - because I used to and probably still would.  But just because something is entertaining doesn't mean it is beneficial.  Sin is entertaining.  That's why we all have problems with it.

So my hope with this first post is simply to speak on some classics that I have found truly entertaining as well as modest.  I have decided to speak through the lens of a few of my favorite actors from this time, as they play a large part in the reason that pursuing the viewing of these movies is worth doing.

Clark Gable - It Happened One Night, Gone With the Wind

It Happened One Night was, from what I gather, a chick flick in its time.  Such an entertaining story - certainly one that has had overwhelming influence - and an all around good movie.

Yes, I do in fact know how long Gone With the Wind is.  Because I watched it.  All that I will say is that you should do the same.  Trust me when I say that you will not regret spending four hours of your time doing so.

Humphrey Bogart - Casablanca, The Maltese Falcon

Casablanca is so famous that I felt like I wouldn't like it because I don't typically like to follow society's trends.  Yet, as evidenced by me including it in this list, it is well worth watching.  Humphrey Bogart is great in the film.  He epitomizes cool.  

The Maltese Falcon is probably one of my favorite movies of all time.  Probably the most entertaining mystery/sleuth film I have ever seen.  Paul Newman (Cool Hand Luke - also worth seeing but borderline over the top at one point) must have watched this movie five times a day so that he could learn how to be half as cool as Humphrey Bogart.

James Stewart - The Greatest Show on Earth, It's a Wonderful Life

The Greatest Show on Earth is probably not often thought of when James Stewart is being discussed - for two reasons.  One: Charlton Heston.  Two: Clown costumes truly are the best disguise anyone can invest in. This, along with Gone With the Wind, is a long movie.  BUT IT'S IN COLOR!!!  You're welcome.

I have trouble remembering movies that have taken my emotions on a roller coaster ride like It's a Wonderful Life.  Don't watch it at Christmas - because that takes away from how wonderfully crafted this film is and how wonderfully happy you should be around Christmas.  Enjoy it some other time.  It will honestly make you consider attempting to throw a lasso around the moon.

Bing Crosby - White Christmas, Going My Way

You probably have to like musicals to enjoy White Christmas.  But if you don't like them, just remember how much you love Bing Crosby's version of the song White Christmas.  That will make it enjoyable.  You could also think about the movie Christmas Vacation, when Chevy Chase references Bing Crosby tap dancing with Danny Kaye.  After you have seen White Christmas you will know exactly what Chevy Chase was talking about.  Boom.

Going My Way is the only thing that might make me consider becoming a Catholic simply because of Bing Crosby's performance as Father O'Malley.  But then I would look at the cons list...and would never become a Catholic.  Little known fact (I think) - Bing Crosby won Best Actor for this role and the movie won Best Picture.  He also partially owned the Pittsburgh Pirates.  Guess you can't win 'em all.

With summer around the corner, think of the opportunities that you would have to watch these movies.  After a long day on the beach, come in and watch The Maltese Falcon.  Rainy day?  Gone With the Wind sounds great.  Thanks to the library, you can see all of these for free.  It's not even fair how easy it could be to watch them.  It's like fishing with dynamite.

So give it a shot.  I mean really, what else are you doin' right now?