Santa Claus is Comin' to Town...a Little Late

I don't know that this is a secret anymore amongst those who know me, but seeing as I cannot find an appropriate transition from what has become a three and a half month hiatus from this blog this will have to do.  


I want to be Santa Claus.  


I absolutely love Christmas time and - as I have previously referenced - I also love growing a beard.  So obviously this is something I should aspire to right?


Judge me if you must, but it has been something that I have decided to pursue as much as I appropriately can at my current age.  In fact, I have made some strides and have gained some legitimate experience in the process.  


I realized early on that the first step in this process would be to procure a beard of some sort.  Now we all know that a Santa with a real beard is much more convincing than a fake bearded man in a red suit - so I have spent the past couple of years growing my beard out for varying amounts of time in hopes of gauging both potential fullness and length.  I am happy to say that the good Lord has blessed me with the ability to grow what I consider a competitive beard (one which serves the dual purpose of making me look like Joaquin Phoenix when he went crazy).  I have also experimented with various ways of coloring and have found acrylic paint to be the most effective method that does not involve permanence.  

One of the first trial runs - needed to create a sample size.

I then found myself in a situation this past year where I had the opportunity to play Santa Claus at a couple local department stores (nothing too fancy I assure you - but experience nonetheless).  I feel I did a pretty bang-up job considering my lack of experience beforehand - and I came to a stunning and fantastic realization.


Santa makes bank homie.

Me holding the cutest little girl in the world.

I did receive some criticism however.  A couple of people commented that Santa "was a little skinny".  Don't worry world - that will come in time.  And by "in time" I mean like next year.  Seriously it won't be a long wait until I am fat.  But until that time you can find me working on my weight and scouting the competition.  I mean really, what else am I doin' right now?