Friday, August 19, 2011

Why I Hate The Pittsburgh Steelers

If you know me even a little and we have talked even a moment about sports, then I think it is a safe bet that you have heard me reference how much I hate the Pittsburgh Steelers.  But for those of you that have not had the pleasure of uttering Pittsburgh in my presence...this post should hopefully enlighten you to some of the reasons I loathe and despise everything that has to do with black and gold.

(Note: Each Pittsburgh Steelers reference will contain a link to something I think is better than the Pittsburgh Steelers - because that is how much I hate them.  Enjoy.)

I loved book fairs in elementary school.  I always bought posters at the book fair - because I hated reading - and I remember the year that I bought a Marshall Faulk poster.  It was 1994 - his rookie year.  I had until that point been a Redskins fan - by default I would say - but I decided with the purchase of this poster that I would be a Colts fan. 


Steps for Becoming a Fan of a Team:

1. Have a reason.  (check: Marshall Faulk)
2. Figure out who else is on the team.  Start with the quarterback if he wasn't the initial reason.


Enter Jim Harbaugh. 


1994 was nothing to brag about for Harbaugh.  He only started 9 of the 16 games, and threw 9 touchdowns and 6 interceptions in that time.


And then the 1995 season came along. 


If you look at the Colts record that year (9-7), it would be a fair assumption that if they did in fact make the playoffs they were a Wild Card team and probably had no chance at even winning the first game.


In actuality, they were the 5th seed.  The 4th, 5th AND 6th seeds were 9-7 that year. 

In addition the Colts' losses were, with the exception of one, all by six points or less.  They were riding the legs of Marshall Faulk and the determination and fourth quarter performances of the eventual Comeback Player of the Year winner Jim Harbaugh.  It was the most exciting season of football I have ever watched.

They had to win the last game of the season to make the playoffs.  They did - by three.  Then, they had to face a team they had already lost to that season.  And proceeded to win by 15.  Being the fifth seed meant they would next have to face the team with the best record in football that year - the Kansas City Chiefs.

So you know this was a long time ago.

The Colts won that game on a late field goal and so were headed to the AFC Championship Game to face none other than the Pittsburgh Steelers.

It was the fourth quarter.  The Colts were down 20-16, and they were driving down the field to win the game.  It came down to the last play of the game - a Hail Mary into the endzone.  Harbaugh threw the ball in the air - like he had done so many times before that season - and I saw Aaron Bailey catch it.

The Worst Moment in My Sports Life
And then I saw him drop it.

And then I couldn't see much more through the tears in my eyes.  I sobbed because we had lost a game I knew we should have won.  I was angry because it was CLEARLY pass interference and he had STILL almost made the catch, but couldn't hold on.  I cried because they didn't call it, and I cried because I was a 9 year old kid who had loved a team and it's quarterback more than I had loved almost everything else up until that point in my life.


So my hatred of Pittsburgh began.  The Colts lost to the Steelers by 28 points in the playoffs the next year, and eventually drafted some punk out of Tennessee to replace Harbaugh.  Guy by the name of Peyton Manning.

And so my love for the Colts dwindled as the true reason I had loved them left, and my hatred for the Steelers was born as they stole our season on a bad call and proceeded to blindfold Neil McDonnell for the Super Bowl - wasting that stolen opportunity.  The Colts would have won it all - there is no doubt in my mind.  Harbaugh finished second in the MVP voting that year, and I have never enjoyed watching someone play the game of football as much as I enjoyed him.


Fast forward to Penn State.  I had gone on to follow the Eagles for a bit - because I enjoyed watching Donovan McNabb for some clearly unknown reason - and Penn State seemed to be a wonderful place to continue that.  The Eagles had no rivalry with the Steelers  so I didn't see any problem coexisting with those fans and cheering for my team.  Until I became friends with some Steelers fans.  And lived with one.  

Because I realized how incredibly obnoxious those stupid towels are.  And how incredibly frustrating it is to hear someone reference 4 Super Bowl wins that happened AT LEAST 20 YEARS before they were born.  I don't care what happened in the 1970's.  It has no bearing on your team now.  And our teams don't have a rivalry - so please stop asking me the ridiculous question, "Wait, how many Super Bowl wins does YOUR team have?"

BECAUSE IT DOESN'T MATTER!  When I make the comment that my team will be good this year, the response that I am looking for is, "Yeah?  We probably will be good too.  Maybe we will play in the Super Bowl."  Then you can ask me the question about Super Bowl wins.  Because if you beat us in that game, it matters.  Otherwise it has NO BEARING ON ANYTHING because there is no bad blood between our teams in any other location but the middle of an otherwise deserted area of Pennsylvania - State College.

So why do I hate Pittsburgh?  Because for four years I was convinced that I SHOULD hate Pittsburgh.  Well now I do - and I don't feel bad about it.  Nothing would please me more than to watch that stadium burn to the ground.  I would rather PAY to watch a WNBA game than BE PAID to watch the Steelers play.  I would rather stick my hand in a working piston and listen to each one of my fingers break than wrap my hand around one of those insidious towels.  Because this hatred has grown to such an extreme, I have found only three reasons why the city of Pittsburgh is worth keeping.  And trust me, one bad experience would certainly shift my feelings in the wrong direction.  They are as follows:


The third of those reasons is clearly conditional, as I believe he is currently regrowing said beard.  So there are really only two reasons that make me have even a speck of respect for anything the city of Pittsburgh does.  My brother in law Cameron said it best:  The state of Pennsylvania should do what Virginia did and cut off the crappy part of it - leaving Pennsylvania and West Pennsylvania.

I could not agree more.  I hate Pittsburgh, and I will until they bury me six feet under the ground.  What else am I doin' right now?

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